Our First River Cruise, Why It May Be Our Last

This post will either gain me some new fans, make some new enemies or at the very least entertain. I’m going to share a recent trip in which Eric and I traveled with his brother on a river cruise through the Netherlands and Belgium.

To thine own travel self be true

For those who know me well, you know I’ve always said that I would NEVER book a cruise. I abhor the cruise industry and what it represents. Overcrowded ships focused on mass consumption with little regard or financial support for the locals who live in their host countries. A travel model which wraps its guests in a bubble of overindulgence and entitlement, ensuring they experience as little of the local culture as possible and sending them home having gained weight and no enlightenment.

See? I warned you this might ruffle some feathers.

Let’s start with the “why” of this trip. When Eric said “let’s take Mom on a river cruise” of course my initial reaction was horror. Not the travel part with his mom but the cruise part (I love my mother-in-law)! I know my travel style, I teach classes on it and preach to others about never compromising on how you prefer to travel. I knew I would hate this trip but at the time it seemed the safest option for a family trip to Europe with his mom and brother. So despite my strong misgivings, I agreed and we booked a river cruise for tulip time in the Netherlands.

That trip was scheduled for 2020, which obviously didn’t happen. Who could have foreseen a global pandemic or that Eric’s mom would contract a vicious viral infection leaving her in unbearable pain and unable to walk. We could no longer receive a refund by this point, however, so in April of 2022 Eric and I crossed the Atlantic with his brother and left their mom behind to continue her long recovery.

I began the trip with a conscience effort to remain positive. I knew this could be a bonding experience for Eric and his brother. I knew how lucky I was to afford a river cruise, something that others often save up for years in order to do. My good intentions lasted until the first port talk, when the cruise director lovingly invited us all to “Relax, we understand that you’re on vacation and your brains are also on vacation. Let us take care of everything for you.”

I knew it! We’re all supposed to be a bunch of dumb sheep following the herd!

Eric rolled his eyes at my dismay. After 19 years of marriage he knows me well and thank goodness he just rolls with it. Meanwhile everyone around me was enjoying the complimentary champagne and hors d’oeuvres, blissfully unaware of the social construct being formed around us. Sometimes I wish I could turn off my inner social-scientist, that I could forget all the books I’ve read by Huxley and Orwell and so many others. I see Hunger Games everywhere and on the ship I actually heard it! The nightly intercom announcements may not have begun with “attention tributes” but they were eerily reminiscent of Suzanne Collins’ social commentary turned bestselling novels.

Lest you think I spent the entire trip wallowing in self-inflicted misery, let me switch gears and share what I DID enjoy about the river cruise. I enjoyed our two days in Amsterdam, where we stayed in an Airbnb in a quiet neighborhood that was close enough to walk to everything but tucked away from the raucous crowds of the red light district. While our stay was brief, I felt like we experienced the real Amsterdam with its bike culture, international cuisine, leaning row houses and canals. Let’s not forget the open-air public urinals, which Eric personally experienced (you’ll see one in the photos below).

On the river cruise itself, I was impressed by the high level of service shown by the crew. I loved our waiters who hailed from Bulgaria, Romania, Lithuania and as my favorite waiter said “all over the world.” To me, the crew were the most interesting people on that ship and who I would have preferred spending time getting to know, but they were understaffed and too busy for chit chat. I have never been more aware of my relationship between server and guest and I didn’t like it. The food was consistently excellent and my only complaint about it was that I would have liked to experience some meals off ship.

One of the best ways to experience a new place or culture is through food. When all your meals are on the ship, you miss this important cultural exchange.

What sets a river cruise apart from a large ocean cruise is that you see something new every day. We visited a different town each day, sometimes two or three a day, which was great but also exhausting. Eric and I embraced “slow travel” years ago and I had forgotten what it was like to be in constant motion, hopping from one tourist attraction to the next. I barely had time to take photos or absorb the places we visited.

It was blitzkrieg travel, get in and out as fast as possible.

Because of the pace, in one week we were able to visit Amsterdam, Antwerp, Middelburg and Bruges plus short stops in the small historic towns of Veere and Willemstad. While the cities were beautiful with amazing architecture, we enjoyed Middelburg, Veere and Willemstad the most because they were the least touristy.

Middelburg had meandering cobblestone streets, a great outdoor market and lots of good bakeries and unique shops. Veere felt like a fairytale village straight out of a Hans Christian Andersen story and Willemstad was a walkers paradise with grassy paths along a heptagon-shaped 16th-century fort. I would happily return and stay in one of those towns for a month to explore the Dutch countryside.

We also squeezed in a full day at Keukenhof Gardens, a tour of the Delta Works and a few hours at the Floriade Expo. Keukenhof was probably the highlight for my brother-in-law because he loves plants. Both engineers were impressed with the Delta Works which is one of the “engineering marvels of the world.” Floriade could have been amazing but it was still under construction and our time was limited, so that experience was disappointing. If anyone is planning a trip to Amsterdam later this year they should consider visiting Floriade because it only occurs every 10 years and it’s truly an amazing feat of global collaboration and innovation.

By the end of this trip I had been wined and dined and entertained but I felt physically and emotionally drained. An introvert by nature, I had been forced to socialize and conform for 7 days straight and my joints felt the hard impact of cobblestone streets. My mind and body craved to escape to a forest or quiet coastline, to a place where fellow travelers understand the difference between a vacation and an experience. So no, I will most likely never book a river cruise again. But as with any travel, I saw new places, met new people and learned something about myself, and for that I cannot regret the experience.

I hope I haven’t scared you away from visiting Amsterdam or the Netherlands. The truth is I loved everything about this country and someday I’ll return to experience it properly — on foot. If that sounds intriguing, read Why You Should Hike the Netherlands.