Making Friends in Bar Montenegro

shadow of three friends hiking in Albania and Montenegro

This is the conclusion of our story about Pushing Past Fear: A Journey through Albania and Montenegro, I hope you’ve enjoyed wandering the Balkans with us.

Our new friend Nikola

We have a new guide today who will be with us for the remainder of our time in Montenegro. Nikola is a tall good looking man in his 20s with an easy going personality. I’m secretly nicknaming him Baywatch because he made the mistake of telling us he’s a lifeguard and, well, he’s easy on the eyes. We climb into his tiny red Citreon and temper our expectations for today because it’s raining and windy. I tell Nikola that we’re here to just enjoy the ride. He smiles and responds that Rade (his boss) told him we were chill and this seems to ease any worries he may have had about trying to please these American tourists.

man in pink shirt at Lady of the Rocks near Perast Montenegro
Our new friend in the pink shirt, Nikola (aka "Baywatch")

Smoked Meats & Crazy Roads

Our first destination is Kod Pera na Bukovicu, an 1881 family run inn and restaurant famous for its smoked meats and homemade beverages. There’s a large tour group of older French tourists and just after we arrive a small group of military men arrive, so it’s busy. Our host Djuro communicates easily with all of his guests in various languages and he is obviously very good at what he does. An assortment of his best smoked meats, along with cheese, bread and rakija keeps us satisfied while we wait for the crowds to depart so we can get a quick tour of his smokehouse.

kod pera na bukovicu inn and smokehouse near Njegusi Montenegro

We enter a small dark room attached to the inn. Large purple flowers are drying on the wall, Djuro says he makes tea with these. There’s a piece of dried meat hanging from the ceiling that is 2 yrs old and he says can be preserved for up to 5 years. The technique he describes hasn’t changed much over the centuries, basically starting with a good product then patiently giving it months to cure and lots of fresh mountain air which he has in abundance up here on the edge of a cliff looking down at Njegusi.

smoked meat, cheese, bread and rakija in Njegusi Montenegro
Njeguši Prosciutto, cheese and rakija (that is NOT water in the glass)

Njegusi is one of the loveliest old villages in Montenegro but unfortunately the weather is awful and there is no point in stopping to walk around. Nikola takes us along the Serpentine Road which connects Njegusi to Kotor, one of the most scenic and dangerous drives in Montenegro. Nikola has already warned us about the hairpin turns and shares the horror stories of what it’s like to drive this route in the summer. Locals avoid it during the summer months for this reason, but we should be ok since it is the off season.

aerial view of Serpentine Road to Kotor Montenegro
Serpentine Road, photo courtesy of Pridannikov from Getty Images

And we would have been, had there not been a wreck at the base of the road. Our first clue that something is wrong is when we pass two large buses that are precariously parked on the edge of the road. Then we’re stuck in a long line of cars, informed by a man who is stopping at vehicles to tell us that there is a wreck ahead and we are waiting for some large vehicles to pass coming from the opposite direction. He is asking everyone to maneuver as close to the edge as possible so they can pass. We understand now why Nikola brought his small car because we are hugging the rock wall and it’s still a close call when the camper vans squeeze past.

Montenegro coastline looking down towards Budva
Views from the Serpentine Road are FANTASTIC!

Once past the serpentine, Nikola is able to relax more and he begins to share his thoughts on the coastal towns which we are now beginning to pass through. Kotor and Budva, with their beautifully preserved old towns and exclusive resorts. He doesn’t have to tell me what my eyes can see and I already know before visiting that these favored coastal towns would not be my choice for a homebase. Eric and I prefer less crowded towns with family-friendly neighborhoods.

Orthodox church in Bar Montenegro
St. Jovan Vladimir, beautiful Serbian Orthodox church in Bar

Making ourselves at home in Bar

We drive past Sutomore where he and Rade grew up. Many Serbians escaping the Balkan conflicts of the 1990s settled here. We arrive in Bar, which will be our home for the next six days. Our apartment is tiny, the size of my college dorm room. I’m not one to complain but I do know it’s not going to be comfortable for this many days so I reach out to Travel Twitch and before I know it we’ve been upgraded to a larger room with a kitchenette and enough space to unpack, relax and unwind.

woman eating soup in a tiny apartment in Bar Montenegro
Our original room in Bar had no place to eat

We’re surrounded by small apartment buildings and residential homes with gardens bursting with fruit. I see pomegranates, kiwi, figs and grapes all from our window.  There is construction all around but it seems to be well designed and will be nice once done. All modern architecture, so while Bar may not be the epicenter for Instagrammers, it is certainly a good place to live.

Modern living and park full of dogs, a few feet from our apartment

We spend our first day walking the promenade of Bar, watching locals and tourists swimming in the sea and somehow sunbathing on the hard rocky beach. This is definitely a beach where you want good water shoes, because it is nearly impossible to walk on, but there are plenty of cafes with comfy seating and beach chairs for rent. There are shady trees throughout the promenade and a woodland park equipped with outdoor gym equipment.

boardwalk with shady trees in bar montenegro
Shade trees all along Bar's promenade

Nikola joins us for an evening walk around town and adds his personal notes and local perspective. We learn about King Nikola as we pass his summer palace and Baywatch Nikola takes us past the boat docks for the best sunset view. I happily snap photos of old boats and we all agree that we like this boat yard because it’s a mix of small simple watercraft along with large fancy yachts and everything in between. A place for everyone. 

The promenade comes alive at night, families with small children are enjoying the delights of roasted corn and carnival games. Children zip past us on electric scooters and toy cars. I even see a toy Bentley, these kids are high rollers! It’s 9:00 on a school night and children are outside on the playground while their parents visit. Just like Albania, these evening walks are my favorite tradition in the Balkans!

Perast & Our Lady of the Rocks

Nikola picks us up for what should be a short scenic drive to Kotor and Perast but ends up being much longer because traffic is insane. We pass through Kotor which is already full of people. In hindsight we should have started there first. But we’re on a mission to see Our Lady of the Rocks in Perast, a man-made island with a beautiful Catholic Church. Just a few feet away on the bay lies the naturally occurring Sveti Đorđe Island (St George), home to a 12th century Benedictine monastery.

two men walking boardwalk in Perast Montenegro
Eric and Nikola strolling waterfront in Perast

Perast is lovely, a little touristy in terms of the shops along the water, but it’s a beautiful boardwalk with gorgeous views of Kotor Bay. It’s easy to find a boat here, there are water taxis and smaller boats for leisure tours around the bay. Nikola has instructions to “look for a woman” which I find hilarious but it’s accurate because sure enough there is one woman taking tickets for a water taxi and hers look like the best options for reaching the island. It’s a quick ride and we don’t spend much time on the island, just enough to wander around and inside the church, to marvel at the intricate artwork. I especially like the silver votive tablets, an art form I’ve never seen before.

It seems people have finally realized the benefits of traveling off season. Parking is a nightmare and it’s Wednesday in late September. Nikola says he’s never seen it like this at this time of year. In Perast we try one parking spot but then realize it’s not the one we want, and I’m glad because I don’t want to give them my money. They charge 2 euro for women to use the toilet while men only pay 1 euro. Sexist thugs. So instead we all use the gender equitable toilets on the island, which doesn’t have running water, so a bathroom attendant pours bottled water over our hands.

Moat around Old Town Kotor

Walking Old Town Kotor

As a UNESCO site, Eric and I are not surprised to see so many people in Old Town Kotor, but I guess Montenegrins are still adjusting to the new normal of so many non-summer tourists. We wait in line for 20 minutes for a parking spot to open. It’s not too many people, however, and we’re able to leisurely wander the narrow alleyways and take photos without crowds. We pay the 8 euros to climb the old 9th century fortress walls, grateful that they have steps because the original path consists of smooth rocks so polished to be dangerously slippery.

woman standing near entrance to Old Kotor Walls pathway
Walking path up the Old Kotor Fortress Walls

Nikola points out to us how well designed this fortress is and why it was so hard for the Italians and other forces to conquer Kotor. Walking up these paths with their strong walls full of gun holes and mini fortresses which would have held soldiers, it’s easy to see why the fortress held.

man peeking through fort in Old Town Kotor

Our original plan is just to walk up to the church, but we continue on and almost reach the top fortress. Heat exhaustion and dehydration prevent me from reaching the top, however. We’ve walked 1300 steps, high enough to have amazing views and I can see the fortress just above me.

view of Old Town Kotor and marina in Montenegro
Worth the sweat for this view of Old Town Kotor

We return to Old Town and part ways with Nikola so that Eric and I can wander around to take photos. We visit with a woman in front of St. Tryphon’s Cathedral where she’s demonstrating the art of Dobrota lace, a form of lacework made from the dull point of a simple sewing needle. It can take up to 5-6 hours to craft 1-6 cm.

seahorse Dobrota lace on display in Old Town Kotor
Dobrota lace dates back to the 12th century, learned from the Venetians

I get suckered into a conversation with a friendly Turkish rug merchant who is originally from Cypress. He shows us his beautiful rugs and they truly are exquisite. Of course I know we’re not going to purchase one and I’m sure this seasoned merchant knows that, but we still go through the age-old dance of negotiations. We end our exploration of Old Town with a much-needed cafe stop.

streets of Old Town Kotor Montenegro
Streets less crowded in late afternoon in Old Town Kotor

The illness that won’t go away

It’s day 4 in Bar and I am feeling defeated this morning. I got dressed and was full of energy, ready to hike up Mt. Vrsuta. I gave myself 3 hours to get ready so that my stomach would have time to calm down, but the violent cramping and chills begin about 30 minutes before we’re scheduled to meet Nikola. Eric is hiking without me. 

The consolation is that at least Eric will get to experience it and take photos for me, but this sucks.

View from our apartment window in Bar

I comfort myself with the knowledge that I’m listening to a teacher play a beautiful little tune on a recorder that sounds like something you’d hear in The Hobbit. There’s a school next door to our apartment, the building is painted yellow and blue which should have been our clue that this is a new temporary school for Ukrainian refugees. It’s a joy to see the interactions between the adults and children throughout the day, to see some normalcy, a reminder that the human spirit is capable of overcoming trauma. It also shuts down my pity party, knowing some digestive discomfort doesn’t compare to the pain these families have experienced.

turkish coffee and pomegranate juice Old Town Bar
BEST Turkish coffee of the trip in Old Town Bar!

Cafe stop at Old Town Bar

Meanwhile, Eric and Nikola explore Old Town Bar and stop for the best Turkish coffee he’s had on the trip. There’s also fresh pomegranate juice and Eric wistfully thinks how much I would enjoy this. Cafes and businesses in Old Town Bar heavily reflect the Ottoman influence. Vendors are selling olive oil, fresh olives and pomegranate juice on the streets. Not far from here, Bar boasts the oldest olive tree in Europe — it’s over 2,000 years old!

Gate entrance to ruins of Old Town Bar

Leaving Old Town Bar, Nikola takes Eric to a hidden waterfall and natural spring. Eric describes the road as “harrowing” with a steep incline and sharp drop-off, which is why they walk the remainder of the road instead of driving it. Nikola describes this little walk as “just a bit uphill, to see the waterfall.” His “just around the corner” is repeated at least four times as they discover new construction has relocated his special shortcut. To Nikola’s credit, it is a lovely hidden gem, well worth the walk.

Leaving the waterfall, they head to the real hike for the day – up Mt. Vrsuta. Google Maps, which Nikola calls “the liar,” gives them some navigation trouble but they eventually find the trailhead. Eric describes this day as “his Montenegro pilgrimage.” He began the day already exhausted from our long journey, so the hike up a steep mountain with loose rock in full sun with bees and hornets the size of hummingbirds is certainly an endurance test for him. They climb 3,450 ft to reach the top, which offers a 360 degree view of the Montenegrin coast and mountains.

Eric's view from atop Mt. Vrsuta

Walking Old Town Budva

No hiking the next day, just sightseeing. We’re heading to Budva, where we wander through cobblestone streets within the walls of Old Town, which is over 2,500 years old.

There are artisans next to the church, a painter, a woman making bracelets and a man playing a clavicimbalum (a Renaissance precursor to the piano).

clavicimbalum player in Budva Montenegro
Alexander Stark plays the clavicimbalum in Old Town Budva

We meander our way back to a cafe on the beach, where we nearly fall asleep over our drinks. Nikola is recovering from a slight hangover from the previous night celebrations when he proposed to his girlfriend.

people sunbathing on beach at Old Town Budva Montenegro
Beach at Old Town Budva

Nikola stops on the return to Bar to show us the tiny church of St. Sava atop a hill overlooking Sveti Stefan, a private island resort. The homes up here are noticeably bigger and more luxurious, and he tells us this is a community of Russians.

View of exclusive island Sveti Stefan from St Sava Church

Later that evening Eric and I walk the promenade and watch the sunset. A pair of teenage girls with their rollerblades have stopped beside us to watch this daily marvel and all along the path we can see people of all ages doing the same. Some intrepid people are walking into the ocean for an evening swim despite how choppy the waves look.

Beautiful sunsets every night in Bar

I’m delighted when we stumble upon a community choir singing a mix of traditional tunes and what sounds like classical sacred hymns. All this as small children zoom past on their motorized scooters and toy cars.

community choir performing on promenade in Bar Montenegro

We spend our last day in Montenegro with Nikola and his new fiancé Ana, who also works for Travel Twitch. Nikola loves sharing everything about his home and culture. My favorite tradition is what he describes as slava. He tells us that each family has a patron saint and they gather each year to celebrate the feast day of that saint. He and Ana’s families share the same patron, St. Petka, protector of women and children. A perfect saint for this couple, especially Nikola who reminds me of my nephew Noah. A fun-loving, gentle soul with a perpetually optimistic spirit who places a high value on family.

man and woman on wooden boat Skadar Lake
Privileged to befriend the newly engaged Ana and Nikola

We’ve been hearing music throughout our trip but Nikola is the first to introduce us to modern Serbian music. Using Ana’s extensive playlist, we listen to Sanja Vucic, the girl pop band Hurricane, and rap by Grse as they drive us to Skadar Lake. We park, walk under a bridge and walk past a dozen stands that look to be a farmers market but on close inspection I realize they’re all boat tours. Sure enough, there are boats everywhere along the canal, in every shape and size. “How on earth do you choose which boat to take,” I ask Nikola and he smiles with smug delight. We walk to the end where someone is waiting for us and next thing I know I’m shaking hands with Stevo Djurovic.

boats on Skadar Lake Montenegro

Mr. Djurovic owns most of the boats here and he’ll be piloting us personally in his beautiful wooden craft with a thatched reed roof. He speaks no English (as far as I know) but is completely at ease letting Nikola translate. He’s been doing this for 36 years and when he’s not giving tours he is part of a team that counts the birds every January. The boat tour is slow and relaxing, especially since we’ve been imbibing Stevo’s homemade wine and rakija, along with priganice and honey.

boat captain on Skadar Lake Montenegro
Stevo Djurovic shares stories, pastries and homemade liquor

We ask about the pelicans and he says there used to be only 4 pelicans left but now there are around 300. Water level fluctuations caused pelican eggs to flood so they built floating islands and this is what saved them from extinction within the park. Fishermen hate the pelicans, however, as they compete for the same food and apparently pelicans are bullies to other birds. Several endangered species live or migrate here, like the black cormorant we see shaking its wings in a bizarre manner. Stevo says this is because it has no endocrine system and can’t regulate its own temperature.

skadar lake lilypads in Montenegro
Skadar Lake is one of the most important bird habitats in Europe

After the boat ride, we return to Bar and Ana drives us above the town for coffee at Ranc Mujica, a beautiful little inn and cafe perched high atop the hills overlooking Bar. Sadly it’s closed but we can see why the drive up here would be worth it. The view is excellent and there are cozy swings, a friendly pony and some rabbits. We drive back to Bar seeking a sea-side cafe, but Eric isn’t feeling well so we part ways. It’s hard to say goodbye to Nikola, he feels like a younger brother and he treats us like family. It’s humbling how open-hearted everyone has been throughout this journey, but Nikola especially has the gift. He is completely open with his emotions and is refreshingly candid. He and Ana make a beautifully balanced couple and we feel privileged to have witnessed this momentous time in their lives.

Fun loving Ana and her new pony friend

Eric wakes up with a sore throat the morning we return to Albania. Thankfully it is a quiet ride, our driver Marko doesn’t speak English. His girlfriend Ivanka does but she’s not into making conversation. It’s a pretty countryside route, with farms and orchards of pomegranate trees overflowing with fruit. People are selling fresh produce along the road. 

countryside in northern Albania
Gazing out at the beautiful Albanian countryside

All is well until we reach the border. Something isn’t right because the guards aren’t handing back our passports and Marko is arguing (respectfully) with them. Apparently Marko is supposed to have a “piece of paper” that costs 20 euros. Border control tells him he can get the paper at a restaurant just a few feet away. We park at the restaurant and sit while Marko and his 8-month pregnant girlfriend wander around from building to building trying to find where they can purchase this elusive document.

Next thing we know Marko hops in the car, no Ivanka in sight, speeds past the cars in line at border control and runs out of the car to retrieve our passports. We never see a paper in his hand so we still have no idea what happened, other than Ivanka’s direct quote “Albanians always want their money.” Passports safely returned, we pick up Ivanka who has been waiting at the border insurance office. Eric is not looking well and he falls asleep. I zen out, gazing at the mountains but not really seeing them. Focusing one step at a time. Get to hotel. Hope for the best. Everything else is beyond my control.

travel mural in Shkoder Albania
This mural in Shkoder Albania sums up why Eric and I travel

The morning we’re supposed to fly to Milan for a week on the Italian lakes, it’s obvious that Eric is not well enough to fly. I’ve already canceled the flight and Italy accommodations when I go down to reception to ask for 2 more nights, thinking that buys us time for him to recover and for us to change our flights. When the receptionist tells me they’re fully booked I almost start crying. She must sense it because she looks panicked. I tell her about Eric and plead for any room, just please don’t make me move him to another hotel. She tells me she will do what she can and let me know if a room becomes available. And that’s it, once again there is nothing I can do but hope for the best.

seafood dinner at ARK Best Western hotel Tirana Albania
It's a shame Eric is too sick to appreciate the delicious food at Ark Hotel in Tirana

I text Eric, giving him as much warning as I can that he may want to get up and take a shower and be ready to move to a different hotel. I then go to breakfast, find my zen once again while sipping coffee, finding joy in my first American style drip coffee I have had since leaving home and it is a much appreciated comfort at this point. I sneak some breakfast food up to Eric and we look up hotels nearby and begin looking at flights. We have to get to Frankfurt, that’s where our long haul flight back to Houston departs. We decide it’s best if we can get to Frankfurt as soon as possible so we’ll book a flight from Tirana tomorrow. Two hours later, I make my way back to reception and ask if we can have just one night. Some discussion and clicking ensues and they find a room. They have one that hasn’t been used in awhile due to some minor repair issues but at least Eric won’t have to move far. I am grateful beyond measure! The rest of the day is spent changing flights and booking a hotel near the Frankfurt airport.

room service meal at hotel in Tirana Albania
Thanking our lucky stars for room service!

We spend a night at the Hilton connected to Frankfurt Airport, a splurge for us but well worth our mental and physical health at this point. Eric is still sick but at least he now has enough energy to get out of bed. I unfortunately wake up with a sore throat the morning of our flight home. At the Lufthansa gate, our flight is delayed by an hour because they’ve overbooked and no one wants to volunteer to give up their seats. We hit bad turbulence again on the flight and when we arrive in Houston the line for customs is the longest we’ve ever seen at this airport.

feet and luggage on bed in Hilton Frankfurt Hotel
Grateful for some luxury at Hilton Frankfurt Hotel

By the time we reach our car, I can barely hold up my head which is now stuffed with congestion and an inflamed throat. Eric doesn’t look much better. It’s another hour drive to his parents’ house, where we crash for the night before making our way home to Louisiana the following day. On top of what I’m fairly certain is COVID, the stomach issues that have plagued me since drinking that milk two weeks prior have not gone away. I spend two days on a liquid diet, followed by an aggressive cleansing regimen prescribed by my doctor that purges my body of everything! It takes a full week at home for Eric and I to recover.

sunset on Calcasieu bridge in Louisiana
Sunset over the bridge to reach home has never looked so beautiful

As I look back on this journey from the comfort of my home, it’s obvious to me that my subconscious knew this trip would be challenging. Had I succumbed to that fear, we would have missed a month’s worth of memories, new friends and experiences (both good and bad). The discomforts of being physically ill throughout the trip and pushing us outside our comfort zones allowed Eric and I to grow in wisdom, confidence and self-awareness. That is the very definition of transformational travel.

Does this mean I’m ready to jump back on a plane right away? Hell no! I need at least a month with my familiar foods, a car and the warm embrace of family.

Leaving a piece of my heart in Montenegro

Before I close the chapter on our journey through Albania and Montenegro, I must convey how incredibly grateful I am for the beautifully-crafted itinerary and support that Rade Bogavac and his team at Travel Twitch DMC provided. It’s unfortunate that illness prevented us from participating in everything they planned for us, but if I ever get sick again while traveling I hope we are as well cared for as we were by the Travel Twitch family. Without them, we would have never experienced the true heart and soul of the Balkans.

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Questioning Life Choices in Durmitor

woman walking road between fields of yellow grass in Durmitor National Park Montenegro

This is part 4 of our Pushing Past Fear: Journey through Albania and Montenegro series. In this post, we explore Durmitor National Park and I make a bad decision.

Comfortable living in Kolašin

Following our Rural Homestays in Montenegro, Eric and I splurge on an apartment in Kolašin for two nights. It’s a quiet ski resort town with a grocery store next door, a washing machine, comfortable mattress, and a real living room. We’ve only had hard wood chairs for seating the past week and I will never again take for granted the luxury of upholstered furniture. Apparently my threshold for discomfort stops at comfortable seating.

comfortable couch and chair at apartment rental in kolasin montenegro
Luxurious bliss in our Kolasin apartment

Our apartment manager is very tall and Eric remarks that he looks like a basketball player. Turns out, he is and his brother plays for the NBA’s Chicago Bulls. Interesting people and buildings can be found here and my favorite is the Spomen-Dom. This neglected concrete complex was built in 1975 to commemorate liberation struggles during WWII and you can read a fascinating history about it here.

The Spomen-Dom, an excellent example of post-war architecture in Montenegro

Hiking Komovi Park

Our guide Zeljko picks us up in his red VW van with a California sticker. He has never been to California but this van is 35 years old and must have an interesting life story. Zeljko is a fully trained mountaineering guide who also guides during ski season and serves on a rescue team. He lives in Kolašin and is a professor of health and fitness and his wife is a professor of languages who is studying to be a librarian.

two men hiking towards a mountain in Komovi Park Montenegro
Eric and Zeljko begin the hike in Komovi Park

We’re hiking 7.4 miles today in Komovi Park. While not physically demanding, this is a technically challenging hike because of the back section which crosses the mountain on the side along a narrow ridge with a deep vertical drop and loose rock. 

rocky hiking trail on side of mountain in Komovi Park
Yes, that tiny line is the hiking trail

Eric has a fear of heights so the Komovi hike is a huge accomplishment for him. The weather is perfect, we have the park to ourselves and Zeljko is excellent company. This is my favorite hiking trail on this trip so far!

men hiking up switchback of mountain in Komovi Park Montenegro

Scenic drive along Tara Canyon

The day we leave Kolašin begins with meeting our driver, Drago. I was picturing him to be a large man with long hair and dark simmering eyes, maybe I should break from the fantasy novels. Drago looks nothing like a dragon lord, he’s a young svelte man with a shaved head and respectful demeanor. He is the first person we’ve seen here who wears a seat belt and he’s the silent type, so our ride to Zabljak is quiet. It’s also the most comfortable drive we’ve had since we arrived in the Balkans because his Land Cruiser is an automatic that actually has shocks. We get him talking about skiing, he works as a steward on the ski slopes in winter.

Beautiful turquoise Tara River, would love to return and kayak here

Drago is taking us through the scenic route along Tara Canyon and Durmitor National Park. Tara Canyon is 47 miles long, 3,960 ft deep. It is the second deepest canyon in the world, just after Grand Canyon which is 6,090 ft deep. We stop for photos and coffee at Tara Bridge where we watch zipliners crossing the canyon.

bridge over Tara River Canyon in Montenegro
View of Tara Bridge while sipping coffee

As we arrive in Zabljak, Drago offers to bring us to a supermarket, which should be our clue that something is amiss. We assume he’s just being nice so we buy snacks and bananas. We learn later that we were supposed to buy something for dinner because apparently the location we are staying at these next two nights isn’t offering dinner. But no worries, our Travel Twitch team takes good care of us.

Durmitor dairy cow and barn at a farm homestay near Zabljak
We are introduced to the family cow by Mr. Krstajic upon arrival, she's a beauty

Homestay in Zabljak

We arrive at household Krstajic and Militza, the young daughter, is able to communicate with us in English. We’ve arrived early so they are still cleaning our room, which is fine because we sit outside and enjoy a cup of coffee. Mr. Krstajic speaks no English but communicates his pride in his cow and his property. He introduces us to his dog, which I think is part dire wolf and is obviously not fond of strangers. Our room is very nice. It has a comfortable couch, nice shower, a mini fridge and kitchenette. Most of the outdoor structures and furniture have been built by Mr. Krstajic, including a picnic table creatively repurposed from an old wagon.

swing and old wagon converted to picnic table at Krstajic homestay in Durmitor National Park Montenegro

Walking Durmitor National Park

Our guide for the Durmitor region is a young woman. Vera picks us up shortly after we finish our coffee and we head to a “short walk” around Black Lake which in the Balkans translates to a 5 mile hike. It’s a beautiful lake, shaped like a figure 8, that shifts between blue, green or gray, depending on what angle you are viewing it. Vera points out all of the places that are waterfalls in the spring when the snow melts.

two women walking sandbank at Black Lake in Durmitor National Park Montenegro
Black Lake on a quiet rainy day

We are in Durmitor National Park, a UNESCO site, so as expected there are quite a few people here but Vera says it’s a quiet day compared to August when tourists overcrowd Zabljak. Vera leads mountain hikes in the warmer months and is a ski instructor during the winter. She’s also one of the friendliest people we’ve ever met, easy to converse with and instantly puts us at ease.

We tell Vera about our misunderstanding with dinner plans and she offers to drop us off at a restaurant which is just 15 minutes uphill from our lodging. The food is excellent at Etno Selo Sljeme but prices are high and the servers are unapproachable and reserved. I’m missing our homestay dinners served with warmth and genuine hospitality.

fields of yellow and green grass with fence and white house in Durmitor National Park Montenegro
Our walk from restaurant back to Krstajic homestay

The weather is ominous so we might be walking back in the rain, but the clouds clear just as we finish dinner and it is one of the prettiest walks we take in Montenegro. The valley and farmland outside of town is absolutely breathtaking. Wide open fields of grass, rolling hills on one side and magnificent mountains on the other, interspersed with cows, sheep and small houses. There are storms all around us as we walk so it is windy and you can hear the wind moving through the grass. As we would say in America, “this is God’s country.”

Close encounter with dairy

Back at the house Militza discusses breakfast with us and she and her mother show us how to make kajmak. Her mother is making a batch now in a small, warm shed with an old wood heated stove. The kajmak is in a giant pot and once cooked it will be moved to a bowl and placed on the shelf for two days, at which point it is then moved into a tall wooden pot wrapped with cheesecloth.

two pots on old stove with fresh kajmak and cow milk being prepared in Durmitor household
Fresh kajmak and cow's milk being prepared by Mrs. Krstajic

A little while later Militza brings us a tray of freshly baked bread hot out of the wood burning stove, along with a fresh batch of kajmak and warm milk. The first taste of that fresh cow’s milk brings so many memories of my childhood, not just when we lived in the country and had milk cows but also the eggnog that my mother makes every Christmas. Eric warns me not to drink it, since we don’t know how well it has been pasteurized, but I don’t heed his advice. I drink the entire glass of that warm creamy milk.

Fresh bread, kajmak and milk

The aftermath

My indulgence of the milk quickly comes back to haunt me. I wake the next morning with violent abdominal cramps and spend most of that day in the bathroom or lying exhausted in bed. Instead of spending the day hiking up Durmitor, Vera takes Eric to the local supermarket to buy food and medicine. After copious amounts of mint tea, I’m able to eat some bread and broth. It will be another 14 days before my digestive system returns to normal. Mornings are hell and I have to wake up 3 hours before we leave just to give my body time to calm down.

woman lying in bed sick after drinking fresh cow milk

The following morning isn’t much better but I’m able to eat some of the delicious breakfast that Mrs. Krstajic has prepared. I especially love the little cake she calls koh which is three layers of light toffee and cream, similar to tiramisu.

Krstajic homestay breakfast

Vera is keeping us to a light walk since I’m still questionable. She takes us to see Devil’s Lake and Fish Lake, where the wind is so loud we can barely hear each other speak. I have to chase my hat as it flies off my head, but the expansive views and gorgeous water is well worth the wind.

Devil's Lake in Durmitor National Park

We walk uphill where Vera shows us ancient monuments that date back to the 12th-16th centuries. They’re called stećci and while no bones have been found here they are thought to be memorial tombs. The site we’re at is called the “Greek Graveyard” and only has 49 stećci but Durmitor has another site with 300 stećci.

Small field of stecci at Durmitor National Park

We return to Vera’s sporty blue VW Passat and head to Ethno Village where we’ll be staying for the next two nights. This drive takes us through the most scenic section of Durmitor National Park, known as Durmitor Ring, which in my opinion is the most dramatically beautiful area in Montenegro. And that is saying something because every square inch of Montenegro is surrounded by natural beauty. We MUST return someday to hike this entire park!

mountains and rocky fields of grass in Durmitor National Park Montenegro
Scenery along Durmitor Ring drive

We stop for coffee at Ethno Village Milogora and I leave my permanent mark on Montenegro by placing a Trips to Walkabout sticker on the window, next to dozens of stickers from biker clubs, hiking tours and bloggers from all over the world.

saddle shaped mountain in Durmitor National Park Montenegro
Saddle mountain in Durmitor National Park

Exiting Durmitor, Vera makes a few more stops to show us Piva Lake Canyon. We can see the mountains in Bosnia-Herzgovinia and they look stunning. Vera tells us that young people crossed the border via these mountains during the 2020 pandemic because Montenegro had more relaxed rules.

blue water and tall mountains at Piva Lake Canyon in Montenegro
Piva Lake Canyon with Bosnian mountains in far back

We make one last stop, a short hidden trail to a collection of large boulders and a viewpoint looking down at Komarnica Canyon. Vera updates us on efforts to protect Komarnica from development projects that are currently threatening the biodiversity of this region. Fighting against new roads and hydroelectric plants will be tough.

woman hiking through boulders and trees in Komarnica Montenegro
Vera and Eric walking hidden trail to see Komarnica Canyon

We end our day at Etno Selo Montenegro, where we join Vera for dinner outside. She orders kačamak and while I would love to gorge myself on this traditional cheese dish, I know I’ll suffer for it later so I restrict myself to one bite. As expected, it’s delicious.

kacamak and dinner at Etno Selo Montenegro
Kačamak is a traditional Montenegrin porridge made with cornmeal, potatoes, milk and cheese

The Ethno Village is challenging to describe. What happens when you combine quirky humor with a bit of historical whimsy and set it in one of the most beautiful locations? You get Etno Selo Montenegro. This place is many things:

  • A peaceful oasis at the center of a cottage industry of organic produce and homemade goods
  • An outdoor museum of Yugoslavian culture and quirky artwork 
  • A sanctuary for dogs and cats (unofficially)
  • An epicenter for environmental advocates and weird events such as the Longest Bedtime Challenge.
Etno Selo Montenegro guest cottages

Our stay coincides with the Longest Bedtime Challenge, so we are lucky witnesses to what has to be the most bizarre competition in the world. Using humor to offset a common stereotype that Montenegro people are lazy, Etno Selo’s owner hosts this annual contest to see who can remain in bed for the longest consecutive days. There are currently 4 remaining contestants who have been laying down for 39 days. They look so bloody miserable, I don’t have the heart to take a photo, but their families are here and seem to be having fun encouraging their loved one to victory.

Two of the contestants end up sharing the prize money after lying down for 50 days at Etno Selo Montenegro.

Open air Montenegrin museum offers glimpses into old Yugoslavian culture

It’s an interesting counterpoint that as I observe these young people voluntarily giving up their mobility and choosing to put their health in jeopardy that my body feels under attack, not just physically but emotionally. Self-doubt pushes through my normal confidence, whispering that maybe I’m not cut out for a travel career.

Who wants a travel writer who tires easily and doesn’t always feel adventurous? Who wants to follow the advice of a travel advisor focused on walking adventures when sometimes all I want to do is stay in bed and read a book?

I never question my decision to quit library work, but I do begin to doubt my desire for long-term travel. Maybe this trip is exactly what Eric and I needed. I remind myself that I began this year with a commitment to be open to new experiences and self-growth. If that means being more realistic about my dreams of being a full-time global nomad, then I must remain open to that. This particular journey has already revealed that I have much to shed in terms of self-expectations. If I truly want freedom, I have to acknowledge the dissonance between who I think I should be versus who I really am.

I need to explore the world on my own terms.

restaurant exterior at Etno Selo Montenegro
Restaurant at Etno Selo Montenegro offers traditional food with fine dining atmosphere

Stay tuned for Making Friends in Bar Montenegro, the final chapter in our Balkans journey (for now).

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Embracing Simplicity: Exploring Rural Homestays in Montenegro

woman smiling holding glass of rakija at rural homestay in Montenegro

This is part 3 of our story about Pushing Past Fear: A Journey through Albania and Montenegro so please start there if you missed the first two posts.

Eric and I are headed to Montenegro, staying at rural homestays with local families because I want to reconnect with a simpler lifestyle similar to how I was raised. I particularly want to see how people in a different country with different life experiences are seeking to do the same. Travel Twitch DMC, the company that planned our trip, has chosen the best families for this purpose and our trip coordinator Ena will be supporting us on this transformational journey.

switchback road down a mountain near border between Albania and Montenegro
Our drive from Albania to Montenegro takes us through switchbacks and mountains

Crossing the border to Montenegro

We cross the border from Albania to Montenegro today. Our driver stops at a Gega Oil station for espresso (Albanian gas stations have the best coffee). He speaks no English so we use Google Translate and with help from a man sitting next to us we are able to have a conversation. We learn he has 2 children, a son and daughter. The son is 26 and is studying to be a doctor in Germany. He shows us photos of his wife and daughter. Back on the road, he cautiously takes us down the serpentine gorge along the border, stopping at scenic viewpoints for us to take photos. In the town of Tamare, he abruptly stops in the middle of the road, hops out with the car still running, and runs into a shop. A new pack of cigarettes in hand and we’re back on track!

Most Albanian Catholics live near Shkoder and southwest Montenegro

The border crossing into Montenegro goes smoothly. We show our passport twice, to Albanian and Montenegrin policia. Everything is smooth sailing until we turn off the main road just outside of Plav, where we will be staying the next four nights. I don’t know who I feel more sorry for – our driver, my bladder, or the tires. We’re following Google Maps but I don’t think we’re actually on a road – this is more of a farm path, suitable only for an off-road vehicle. The car is overheating and Eric’s feet are melting in the front seat because the heater is on full blast to save the engine. Later we will learn there was an alternate paved road (gotta love Google Maps).

view of Lake Plav, mountains and Prokletije National Park Montenegro
Our view from Grandfather's Place looking down towards Plav

We stop at two houses, unsure which one is our location. We don’t have an exact address, we just know we’re looking for Grandfather’s Place. We have no phone signal up here and our driver looks like he’d prefer to abandon us. We convince him to drive a little further and blessed be, there it is. A woman walks out speaking no English but we know we’re in the right place and she shows us to our room where we collapse, grateful to have a bed and a toilet.

Lovely balcony view from our cottage at Grandfather's Place

Our hosts are Šefkija and Selvija Feratović (who don’t speak English) and their two sons (one of whom speaks a little English). We are in a beautiful location, halfway up the mountain with a balcony looking down at Lake Plav and Prokletije National Park all around us. No A/C in our room so we hang out in the common outdoor area where it’s nice and breezy. Selvija serves us Turkish coffee with pistachio Turkish delight while we watch the family bunnies munch on grass.

We have to use Google Translate for almost everything but easy words like coffee and WiFi and dinner are all we need at this point. It will be interesting to see tomorrow how we communicate our daily activities. Dinner is delicious! Moussaka, a huge bowl of veggies in a vinaigrette, fried chickpeas and vegetable soup, bread, fresh cranberry juice and rakija (Montenegro’s national liquor).

As we learn throughout this trip, rural homestays in Montenegro and Albania all have an outdoor common area. Sleeping quarters are often small with little to no seating so the common area is where we spend our time. These outdoor cafes are where we eat and use WiFi, where we interact with the families and enjoy fresh air and a view.

man lounging in an outdoor cafe at Grandfather's Place near Plav Montenegro
Eric's favorite spot at Grandfather's Place

Breakfast that first morning is delightful as Mama Feratović fattens us up with a Montenegrin version of beignets. We visit with a friendly couple from Essen, Germany, who fill our ears about their world adventures and Claudia’s interest in long-distance cold water swimming.

Priganice (fried dough) with fresh honey and jam for breakfast, yum!

Hiking Grebaje Valley

We are using WhatsApp to communicate what we want to do each day with the son who speaks the most English. Although my leg is still bothering me from our hike to Theth, the best weather is today so we ask him to drive us to a hiking spot. We thought he would have hiking maps or at least be able to advise us on trail options. Instead, the conversation goes like this:

“Hike? Yes, Grebaje.”

Grebaje Valley is gorgeous, no matter what trail you hike.

I know this is a beautiful place to hike because I’ve seen photos, so I say yes, but I know nothing about the trails here. On our 40 min drive we pass farmland and through the small town of Gusinje. We arrive at the park entrance where our host gives us two options for hiking. He points to the right of the mountain and says “3 hour” and then points in front of us and says “easier 2 hour.” He agrees to pick us up in 3.5 hours and tells us to WhatsApp him if we need to change the time. There’s a restaurant here with WiFi so that shouldn’t be a problem. And with that, he leaves us in a park with no map or any clue what trails are here.

September is a beautiful time to visit Grebaje Valley

We pay the park attendant a 6 euro fee and begin trekking up the mountain, where we find signposts with trail names, distances, elevation and time estimates. Having no clue where any of these go or what makes each trail unique, we pick the one with the shortest elevation.

man hiking through forest of tall trees in Grebaje Valley Montenegro
Trails in Grebaje Valley offer steep climbs through quiet woods

My left calf muscle is screaming at me, no amount of stretching seems to loosen it, and I feel completely empty of energy despite the huge breakfast we had. At another trail junction, we diverge to a different path that leads back down the mountain and spend the remainder of our time wandering the lower level paths and road which offers impressive views of the valley.

Gorgeous views of the valley can be seen simply by walking the road
Do you see the kissing cats?

Right on time, the other brother picks us up. Anytime we hold up our phone to take a photo he slows down and tells us what we’re seeing. In Gusinje, he struggles to explain to us the significance of one block where three churches reside — Muslim, Catholic and Orthodox. We understand what he’s saying but he must feel like he’s not explaining it well enough because he calls his wife who translates for him. I love that he cares this much about his home to share it with strangers. I also love the respect he and his brother show their parents. They greet them with a kiss on the cheek every time and it’s obvious there is deep affection in this family.

Roadside water spouts (like this near Plav) can be found throughout Albania and Montenegro

Homestays provide food and mothering

We wake up on our second morning in the Feratović household feeling completely drained. Fatigue is often something I struggle with, thanks to rheumatoid arthritis, but it seems to be worse on this trip. We drag ourselves up the short hill to breakfast, where Selvija rewards us with her version of spanakopita, fresh herbal tea, a yogurt drink, and some type of spice cake. She can see that I’m hurting and brings me a large bottle of Tylenol. As we watch the bunnies frolic with a dense fog blanketing the valley and town of Plav below, I force myself to simply enjoy this moment. To let go of my desire to “see more and do more.”

After breakfast we return to our cabin and immediately fall asleep for 3 hours. I think we are both hitting that threshold where we’ve been away from the comforts and familiarity of home for too long and now we feel it physically. I just want to hide from the world today and wake up magically transported back home. What happened to our adventurous spirit? We’d better find it again, because we have 3 more weeks of this trip and our next accommodations won’t be as comfortable as this one.

Selvija's cooking helps get rid of any homesick feelings

On day 3, we wake up determined to get out and walk. We have breakfast with a German couple from Passau. Selvija serves us an omelet with cheddar and feta cheese, yogurt drink, bread and homemade sour cream. After breakfast settles, we walk down the road that leads to Plav.

road with old fence and houses in Budevica village Montenegro
Road through Budevica Village is part of the Peaks of the Balkans Trail

It’s over a 4-mile walk down the mountain to reach Plav. We don’t plan to go all the way because we don’t want to walk back up, but our goal is halfway where there is a good viewpoint of town and the surrounding mountains. Our plan was to have a picnic at the top of the viewpoint but the entire place is swarming with bees. I run up the hill to snag a quick photo while Eric waits down in safety.

Viewpoint on top of hill near Vardiste, between Plav and Budevica

This walk follows a section of the Peaks of the Balkans Trail. It takes us through the Budevica village where generations of Feratović families live. I pause to take a photo and read the small gravestones in the Feratović cemetery. New houses are being built next to the old ones, many as vacation homes for the American Feratović members who come back to visit regularly.

Family cemetery in Budevica village

Feeling at home with the family

Hot and sweaty from our walk, I shower and rest while Eric lounges in his favorite spot, the open air restaurant where Selvija loves to visit and serve guests. Our underwear is drying in the sun on the balcony, thanks to Selvija who graciously offered to wash our clothes.

Šefkija is cutting the grass with a scythe. He’s a retired agriculture professor, which explains the organic paradise he has created here. There’s an orchard of apple and pear trees, a small vegetable garden and berry bushes. The man is working and he offers Eric a beer, Eric who is just sitting down doing nothing. When Eric offers to help, the 77-year old Šefkija shrugs and gives the expression of “this is easy.”

apple and pear trees at a rural homestay near Plav Montenegro
Small orchard behind Grandfather's Place that leads to guest cottages

I join Eric a little later and Selvija comes out offering tea, coffee and cake with freshly picked plums and an apple she picked at her family orchard in Kosovo. I want to adopt this woman as my second mother and I’m quite sure everyone else who visits this lovely place feels the same.

Hospitality at Grandfather's Place is the kind that feeds the soul and body

Our last morning is spent visiting with the family and a Chicago uncle. The Feratovićs seem to be fond of what I call “intellectual discourse.” I don’t know what they’re saying but I know they’re discussing politics and economics. Selvija excitedly tells us about an upcoming trip to Holland, Sweden and Norway to visit her son. We also learn that she was born in Kosovo and a happy homesick smile appears on her face as she attempts to describe her childhood home.

LOVE this woman, Selvija Feratovic!

On our last day one of the sons drives us to Plav to ensure we get on the right bus. to Kolašin. He greets the driver, we part ways and relax on the cool bus waiting for our next adventure. About twenty minutes into the ride, the bus attendant walks towards us, and I’m thinking “oh crap, what did we do?” He hands me his phone and says the call is for me. It’s our WhatsApp angel Ena, she’s been trying to text me to tell us we’re getting off at a different stop but I have my phone on airplane mode.

I’m starting to believe Ena has super powers. Does she keep every bus driver in Montenegro on speed dial? 

rural homestay cottages at Katun Lanista-Bogavac in Montenegro
Welcome to Katun Lanista-Bogavac, our homestay in Biogradska Gora Park

Katun, a unique rural homestay

I’m prepared for rugged accommodations at our first authentic katun, which is good because it allows me to appreciate the charm of this place without being a diva about shared toilets and outdoor sinks. Katun Lanista-Bogavac is at the top of a mountain, accessible by a craggy, steep and windy road fit only for a moon rover. But we’re in an old Jeep Cherokee and our driver Jelena traverses the giant rocks like a pro while smoking a cig and asking us questions. She is definitely a bad ass.

man walking past a garden and horses in a field at Katun Lanista-Bogavac in Montenegro
Horses grazing next to the garden as we arrive at Katun Lanista-Bogavac

A katun is a traditional mountain settlement in Montenegro that is only inhabited during the summer and early fall when livestock is brought up the mountain to graze before winter.

Outdoor sinks, 2 toilet rooms and wood-heated shower shared by family and guests

In our case this is also a small restaurant with cabin rentals. There are rudimentary huts, with unfinished pressboard interior walls with one small window for natural air-conditioning. Mr. and Mrs. Bogavac and their daughter Jelena live in a small building not much larger than our hut and they share two toilets, one shower and an outdoor sink with the guests. The shower is heated by a large wood furnace, so we have to request a shower at least 30 minutes ahead of time.

man standing with arms out to show size of small hut at Katun Lanista-Bogavac in Montenegro
Our hut at Katun Lanista-Bogavac

The fanciest building on the property is the restaurant, which is beautifully decorated by someone who understands a good Instagram photo op. There’s an outdoor seating area with impressive views of the valley and mountains. This is the place to sit if you want coffee or rakija.

roasted potatoes at Katun Lanista-Bogavac restaurant in Montenegro
Roasted potatoes freshly picked from the garden, delicious!

It’s also where “the boys” hang out. We are sharing the katun with 6 men, five Americans and one Argentinian who all live in Montenegro. “The boys,” as Jelena names them, are part of a small Christian church (rare in this predominantly Serbian Orthodox country). It’s refreshing to hear a group of young men spend time with each other, spending hours talking about emotions and family life, interspersed with comedy routines, games and singing. At night we fall asleep to the hum of their conversation and the smell of manure.

Walking Biogradska Gora

Mr. Bogavac is a ranger at Biogradska Gora National Park, which connects to this katun. We walk down to Lake Biograd via a quiet wooded path with old growth trees. It’s a 6-mile in and out hike from our homestay to the lake (plus 2 miles around the lake) — a perfect way to spend the day.

trail leading through a beech tree forest in Biogradska Gora National Park Montenegro
Trail from katun quickly opens into a dense forest

The lake is smaller than I expected and lower than usual due to a long dry summer, but the walk around the lake is lovely. We take a long break before heading back up the hill, sitting in the main picnic area of the park. A fluffy black dog, who I nickname Padfoot, decides that we are his new owners and he falls asleep at my feet.

Lake Biograd shows off its pretty colors at the beginning of the lake trail

Homestay hospitality, hard but rewarding

Our second evening we notice Mama Bogavac isn’t herself and Jelena is doing everything. The morning we leave Jelena tells us her mother isn’t feeling well and has to go to the hospital. She apologizes several times for breakfast but this is a breakfast for kings. She serves us roasted potatoes, cheese, priganice with fresh honey and strawberry jam, prosciutto, sausage, and boiled eggs. Considering the rustic accommodations and bathrooms, I was curious to understand how this place has such a high rating online. Now I know why — it’s the wonderful food, beautiful location and the genuine attention this family provides to every guest.

homemade egg soup with cheese and pickled vegetables served at a katun in Montenegro
Egg soup, pickled vegetables, homemade cheese and cheese pastries

It’s obvious Jelena and her father can use a break, and just as I’m thinking it’s a good thing they’ll have no more guests after we leave, I see a large group of hikers heading up the hill towards us and they look famished. Jelena sees them too and quickly ushers us into her Jeep so we can leave before they get here. I feel sorry for the hungry hikers, they’ll only get drinks and cheese today. Hospitality is hard work, especially when it’s being offered under such rugged conditions while also operating a farm with livestock.

Dairy cows are essential for a rural Montenegrin diet

Jelena tells us she loves being at the katun. She works part of the year in the military but says “the military is hard on women, they don’t understand women’s health issues.” I believe her because Jelena doesn’t strike me as a wimp. I rarely see anyone else work this hard. She and her dad built everything here, which speaks to not only their love of carpentry but their sense of whimsy and imagination. The sinks and mirrors are carved from wooden logs, as is the water fountain and outdoor beer chest.

“Being up here, my mind is stress free.” ~ Jelena

Jelena has a young daughter who stays with the grandparents back in town. Her two younger brothers also live in town and aren’t interested in the family farm. Jelena has no wish for money, says she is happiest when she has less. Although I value money, since it allows me to travel and meet people like Jelena, her thoughts echo the desire pumping through my heart. I crave freedom. Freedom from my own expectations. Freedom from materialism, which demands constant productivity to feed the beast. Freedom from feeling regret at the end of my life, that I’ll look back and wish I had made better use of my time.

Be careful what you wish for. As you will see, the final part of our journey has much to teach us in this regard. Read Questioning Life Choices in Durmitor for the conclusion of our month in the Balkans.

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